Marcello Lippi continues his stubborn refusal to select Antonio Cassano, meaning that the Sampdoria star is left at home for the World Cup. Lippi persists with his tragic 4-3-3 system and instead takes Udinese winger Simone Pepe, Fiorentina forward Alberto Gilardino and Bayern Munich oldie Luca Toni to South Africa.
9) Aurelio De Laurentiis insults every person in the whole world
Not content with bashing Fabio Cannavaro and Ezequiel Lavezzi, as well as erupting like Vesuvius that “the English live badly, eat badly and their women do not wash their genitalia”, Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis actually succeeds in insulting every person in the whole world. How does he manage this? He says that “anyone who believes Roberto Donadoni to be a bad coach is an idiot”.
Adrian Mutu doesn’t pay his Chelsea fineAfter being ordered to cough up €17 million compensation by the Court of Arbitration for Sport after being sacked for testing positive for cocaine during his Chelsea days, Fiorentina star Mutu has no intention of paying the money back. The Romanian takes the case to the European Court of Human Rights, and surprise, surprise – he wins.
7) Roma fans invade training
Come on, it happens every season whether Roma are doing well or badly. The Giallorossi are in Scudetto contention but defeat in the Derby della Capitale against Lazio sees all hell break loose. Alexander Doni’s car has a brick put through its windscreen, Luciano Spalletti is chased around the Colosseum being pelted with tomatoes and eggs, while a group of 500 fans invade Trigoria. The chaos only comes to an end when a Beast emerges from the trees and scares away all the hooligans.
6) Samuel Eto’o the best player in the world, says Jose Mourinho
One of Jose Mourinho’s favourite psychological tricks. At Chelsea, Petr Cech was the best goalkeeper in the world, John Terry the best defender, Frank Lampard the best midfielder and Didier Drogba best striker. Last season at Inter, 'The Special One' described Zlatan Ibrahimovic as the world’s No.1 player – how long before Eto’o replaces him? Cone man Giuseppe Baresi (Steve Clarke) is apparently the globe’s greatest assistant too.
5) Ronaldinho stars in Saturday Night Fever III
With John Travolta unavailable, director Sylvester Stallone calls on the services of another overweight has-been for the starring role. The plot involves the buck-toothed Brazilian combining stressful days at AC Milan with a party-animal nightlife. Ronnie never gets to bed any earlier than 6am and there is also a cameo performance from Silvio Berlusconi, who in one scene steals the Brazilian’s 18-year-old girlfriend, only for Arsene Wenger to save the day by promising the youngster a contract at Arsenal and guaranteed regular action.
4) Maurizio Zamparini & Walter Zenga have a fight
Mix together the craziest president in Italy with the craziest coach, and there is guaranteed to be a nuclear explosion. The pair declare their love for one another during the opening weeks of the season as Palermo top the table before Zamparini launches a withering public attack on Zenga after the Sicilians only manage a 1-1 draw away at Juventus. The duo are then involved in a fist-fight live on Italian TV, Zenga walks out of the club, Zamparini brings back Francesco Guidolin, sacks him, brings back Zenga again and declares the two are best friends once more, before ditching the Italia ’90 keeper for a second time. Guidolin returns for the final six weeks of the season.
3) Juventus’ full-backs cost them major honours
The Bianconeri are in contention to win both the Scudetto and Champions League, but their disastrous full-backs cost them both trophies. In a key title showdown with Inter, Jonathan Zebina is sent off for headbutting Massimo Moratti before punching a cameraman. While in the Champions League final against Barcelona, Juventus lead 1-0 with five minutes to go before Cristian Molinaro and Zdenek Grygera both score spectacular own goals from 30-yards out.
2) Milan just avoid relegation
After a miserable transfer summer, Milan still head into the season with the ridiculous hope of winning the Scudetto. Despite triumphing in the Derby in week 2, Milan lose to Siena, Livorno, Bologna, Udinese, Bari and Atalanta in the first couple of months and by Christmas find themselves rock bottom of Serie A. The Rossoneri remain in the relegation zone all season until an own goal by Juventus’ Molinaro in the final minute of the final day saves them.
1) Inter flop in the Champions League
The Nerazzurri win the Scudetto by default, but when they are really tested in Europe they fail miserably once again. Jose Mourinho’s men scrape through a group containing Sporting, Dynamo Kiev and Debrecen on goal difference before being dumped out in the second round by Barcelona, with Zlatan Ibrahimovic scoring the winner with the first Champions League knockout goal of his career.
