Sepp Blatter wants 2018 World Cup to be held in Antarctica

[Grammar Nazi]

Every couple of weeks FIFA head honcho Sepp Blatter crawls out of his undisclosed cave, to give his thoughts on the world’s game. Today he weighed in on who should host the 2018 World Cup, something both England and the United States covet. However, Blatter sent shockwaves around the Football world when he announced he wants the tournament to be held in Anarctica.

"According to our rotation policy it is necessary for the event to be held in Antarctica at this time, because future climate change implications could cause the event to be impossible in this exotic paradise of sunshine. I think this is the best for everyone, as it will raise exposure to the abondoned wildlife of sea lions who have been neglected due to a decrease of the Eskimo population in Atarctic regions from a low supply of appropriate tools used to construct igloo's. From this absence abundances of the penguin and seal population have mutiplied as they are no longer threatened by Eskimo poachers, but the Sea Lion is the big loser, as they missed the Eskimo sleds which used to boost their mood due to endorphines in their upper membrane which react to fast moving motor vehicle"

Antarctic Football Federation President Rudolph Seal was ecstatic about Blatter's interest " Squeak.... Squeak, Squeak! Squeak, Squeak!". However Eskimo Brighton Worndwarf was furious as increases exposure coul debilitate the rural environment from which he thrives "this is one of the last untouched natural wonders of the world, and our way of living may be rural, but it is civil, and we dont want hooligan invaders hosting some goonish spectacle on our natural setting".

Michele Platini has blasted Blatter's idea and feels he has completely lost the plot "I think the entire FIFA governing body needs a restructure and intense therapy, plus various medical tests to see if they are capable of performing their current duty. I honestly believe Antarctic Seals would have more common sense than these ludicrous ideas".

[Missing Post Count]

He could expect a cold reception.

[mattieg1200]

He could expect a cold reception.