A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."
He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes
The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the bloody dog"
Barney's Jokes
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Barney Rubble
- First Team Regular
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Re: Brand New Unlocked Apple Iphone 3GS 32GB for sale $185
Can I borrow that dog???
FIGHTING LIKE A GIRL
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Barney Rubble
- First Team Regular
- Posts: 1952
- Joined: Sun Apr 30, 2006 9:22 pm
Re: Brand New Unlocked Apple Iphone 3GS 32GB for sale $185
PM me why
Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club
Re: Brand New Unlocked Apple Iphone 3GS 32GB for sale $185
Maybe it was the same dog........................
A woman was leaving a coffee shop with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 metres behind.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull terrier on a leash.
Behind her were 200 women walking in single file.
The woman couldn't contain her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, 'I'm sorry for your loss and I know it is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Who's funeral is it?'
The woman replied, 'Well the first hearse is for my husband.' 'What happened to him?' The woman replied, 'My dog attacked and killed him.'
She inquired further, 'Well who is in the second hearse?' The woman answered, 'My Mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her also.'
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women. 'Could I borrow the dog?'
'Get in line ' the woman replied.
A woman was leaving a coffee shop with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 metres behind.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull terrier on a leash.
Behind her were 200 women walking in single file.
The woman couldn't contain her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, 'I'm sorry for your loss and I know it is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Who's funeral is it?'
The woman replied, 'Well the first hearse is for my husband.' 'What happened to him?' The woman replied, 'My dog attacked and killed him.'
She inquired further, 'Well who is in the second hearse?' The woman answered, 'My Mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her also.'
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women. 'Could I borrow the dog?'
'Get in line ' the woman replied.
FIGHTING LIKE A GIRL
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Woohafkaf Car
- Apprentice
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Re: Barney's Jokes
Where can I buy an unlocked nokia phone?
No country who has never qualified for the world cup should be allowed to host it at the expense of one who has.
Sod Japan, sod Qatar, sod Blatter and his cronies!
Sod Japan, sod Qatar, sod Blatter and his cronies!
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timothystortment
- Ball Boy
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