Top 10 funniest names in football

[BAGGIO 15]

ByEvery now and again the world of sport throws up a name that is just too funny to ignore. Football is no different.


With over 200 playing nations to choose from, there has been no shortage of hysterical names over the years.

From toilet humour, to accidental swear words to sexual innuendo, our list contains all three! If it's a dodgy name, the football world has it covered.

And to think that the likes of Stefan Kuntz, Rafael Scheidt, Segar Bastard, Ars Bandeet, Paul Dickov and Bernt Haas all missed out.

This week, TWG counts down the Top 10, starting with an Aussie who's perhaps been a victim of slack pronunciation!

10. Danny Invincibile, Kilmarnock

It may not have the scatological quirk, be an uplifting superlative or the innuendo of some others but Invincibile, or rather the incorrect way it’s generally pronounced – ‘Invincible’ – is just unusual enough to qualify for this list. The fringe Socceroo has looked invincible at times during his 158-games with Kilmarnock in the Scottish Premier League.

9. Creedance Clearwater Couto, Lierse

All we can say for this Brazilian journeyman is that his parents must have been big John Fogerty fans. Either that or after a few too many Caipirinhas one evening, the Coutos decided to give their son the name of the US rock band for a laugh.


8. Excellent Walaza, Supersport United

The Walazas had big wraps on their new born son when they named him 'Excellent' - a worthy addition to the pantheon of unusual African footballer names. The South Africa striker, who is now on loan from Orlando Pirates, is joined by Zimbabwe players Energy Murambadoro and Pride Tafirenyika in the motivational name ranks.

7. Dean Windass, Oldham

This one speaks for itself. Suffice to say, the English hit-man - who has had no less than nice clubs - has copped his fair share of gags about his moniker. However, Windass reached deep into his bag of tricks to seal Hull’s promotion to the riches of the Premier League last year, and that's nothing to laugh about.


6. Danny Shittu, Bolton

At six foot three inches, no-one’s going to be messing with imposing Nigerian Shittu in a hurry. Any sniggering at his name is best done when the burly Bolton central defender isn’t looking.

5. Andrei Arshavin, Arsenal

By no fault of his own, the Russian playmaker will be the butt of English press gags for some years to come. Just check out Special 1 TV to see how funny the Arsenal star’s name can be! Fortunately for him, Arshavin has talent to match his cheeky surname.

4. Milan Fukal, Kapfenburger SV

The veteran Czech defender first caught the eye at Euro 2000, where his performances for the national team attracted the attention of German Bundesliga club Hamburg. The press have had little trouble creating some memorable titter-inducing headlines thanks to the 33-year-old, who now plies his trade in Austria.

3. Climax Lawrence, Dempo

As Central Coast Mariners and Newcastle Jets fine tune their Asian Champions League preparations, unfortunately–titled Climax Lawrence and his mates from Indian hopefuls Dempo are vying for one of two remaining spots in the tournament. If they do make it, be ready for a glut of ‘Climax’ puns. We’re thinking something along the lines of: “Dempo reach Asian climax”.

2. Martin Amedick, Kaiserslautern

It’s fair to say - aside from a brief flirtation in the Bundesliga with Borussia Dortmund – that Amedick hasn’t really scaled the heights of European football. Although the 26-year-old defender’s sledge-provoking nickname has carved him a niche in our list.

1. Argelico Fucks

Here’s another Brazilian with a surname too good to ignore. Fucks, now 34, is at the end of a journeyman career that has seen him play for 10 clubs across three continents. Known as ‘Argel’, the central defender was the subject of countless humourous headlines, including the following corker by Eurosport: “Fucks off to Benfica

[Nova]

I cant believe there is no Mike Hunt playing anywhere in the world
Or Vladimir Sukmiov

[Ernie Cooksey]

we somehow always manage to get something or somebody on light hearted top tens. usually something to do with drinking or fighting.

[tevez.]

ByEvery now and again the world of sport throws up a name that is just too funny to ignore. Football is no different.


With over 200 playing nations to choose from, there has been no shortage of hysterical names over the years.

From toilet humour, to accidental swear words to sexual innuendo, our list contains all three! If it's a dodgy name, the football world has it covered.

And to think that the likes of Stefan Kuntz, Rafael Scheidt, Segar sherry, Ars Bandeet, Paul Dickov and Bernt Haas all missed out.

This week, TWG counts down the Top 10, starting with an Aussie who's perhaps been a victim of slack pronunciation!

10. Danny Invincibile, Kilmarnock

It may not have the scatological quirk, be an uplifting superlative or the innuendo of some others but Invincibile, or rather the incorrect way it’s generally pronounced – ‘Invincible’ – is just unusual enough to qualify for this list. The fringe Socceroo has looked invincible at times during his 158-games with Kilmarnock in the Scottish Premier League.

9. Creedance Clearwater Couto, Lierse

All we can say for this Brazilian journeyman is that his parents must have been big John Fogerty fans. Either that or after a few too many Caipirinhas one evening, the Coutos decided to give their son the name of the US rock band for a laugh.


8. Excellent Walaza, Supersport United

The Walazas had big wraps on their new born son when they named him 'Excellent' - a worthy addition to the pantheon of unusual African footballer names. The South Africa striker, who is now on loan from Orlando Pirates, is joined by Zimbabwe players Energy Murambadoro and Pride Tafirenyika in the motivational name ranks.

7. Dean Windass, Oldham

This one speaks for itself. Suffice to say, the English hit-man - who has had no less than nice clubs - has copped his fair share of gags about his moniker. However, Windass reached deep into his bag of tricks to seal Hull’s promotion to the riches of the Premier League last year, and that's nothing to laugh about.


6. Danny Shittu, Bolton

At six foot three inches, no-one’s going to be messing with imposing Nigerian Shittu in a hurry. Any sniggering at his name is best done when the burly Bolton central defender isn’t looking.

5. Andrei Arshavin, Arsenal

By no fault of his own, the Russian playmaker will be the butt of English press gags for some years to come. Just check out Special 1 TV to see how funny the Arsenal star’s name can be! Fortunately for him, Arshavin has talent to match his cheeky surname.

4. Milan Fukal, Kapfenburger SV

The veteran Czech defender first caught the eye at Euro 2000, where his performances for the national team attracted the attention of German Bundesliga club Hamburg. The press have had little trouble creating some memorable titter-inducing headlines thanks to the 33-year-old, who now plies his trade in Austria.

3. Climax Lawrence, Dempo

As Central Coast Mariners and Newcastle Jets fine tune their Asian Champions League preparations, unfortunately–titled Climax Lawrence and his mates from Indian hopefuls Dempo are vying for one of two remaining spots in the tournament. If they do make it, be ready for a glut of ‘Climax’ puns. We’re thinking something along the lines of: “Dempo reach Asian climax”.

2. Martin Amedick, Kaiserslautern

It’s fair to say - aside from a brief flirtation in the Bundesliga with Borussia Dortmund – that Amedick hasn’t really scaled the heights of European football. Although the 26-year-old defender’s sledge-provoking nickname has carved him a niche in our list.

1. Argelico Fucks

Here’s another Brazilian with a surname too good to ignore. Fucks, now 34, is at the end of a journeyman career that has seen him play for 10 clubs across three continents. Known as ‘Argel’, the central defender was the subject of countless humourous headlines, including the following corker by Eurosport: “Fucks off to Benfica

lmao

[D.E.B.S.]

I cant believe there is no Mike Hunt playing anywhere in the world
Or Vladimir Sukmiov

nah just im not famous

[Judge Judy]

I cant believe there is no Mike Hunt playing anywhere in the world
Or Vladimir Sukmiov

nah just im not famous

wow, how many accounts do you have ?

[fowlerisgod]

not football but still.. http://armchairgm.wikia.com/Rusty_Kuntz

[tevez.]

lol wats so funny about Andrei Arshavin?

[Judge Judy]

lol wats so funny about Andrei Arshavin?

Andrei is the name of a famous ballet dancer from the early 1300's

[Facts and Stats]

I cant believe there is no Mike Hunt playing anywhere in the world
Or Vladimir Sukmiov

The head groundsman (curator) at Lords is (not sure if he has retired) Mick Hunt, he used to be known as Mike but for obvious reasons changed it to Mick.

http://www.lords.org/latest-news/news-a ... 72,NS.html

[Aldo Serena]

lol wats so funny about Andrei Arshavin?

Arse - shavin.

Also, there was an Italian basketball player with the name Fucka, but pronounced Foocth-ka.

[Dr. Wankenstein]

I have always like Talay Ufuk

[BAGGIO 15]

I have always like Talay Ufuk