Jokes for rival teams

glasgowrangers · Post by **glasgowrangers** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 5:17 pm

With pictures for rival teams here is jokes for rival teams

ronaldo07 · Post by **ronaldo07** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 6:38 pm

chelski, liverpoo, assnal ..
just by that name ittself it's already a joke !!

Lilly Whites · Post by **Lilly Whites** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 6:43 pm

ronaldo07 wrote:chelski, liverpoo, assnal ..
just by that name ittself it's already a joke !!

hilarious!

barbarez01 · Post by **barbarez01** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 6:54 pm

your a funny man ronaldo07... NOT!

MG&Son · Post by **MG&Son** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 6:56 pm

ronaldo07 wrote:chelski, liverpoo, assnal ..
just by that name ittself it's already a joke !!

lmao!!! funny as

delfino_1936 · Post by **delfino_1936** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 11:21 pm

ronaldo07 wrote:chelski, liverpoo, assnal ..
just by that name ittself it's already a joke !!

Man USA

Man Ure

Big G · Post by **Big G** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 12:32 am

Birmingham SHitty????

Manchester Shitty?

pires7 · Post by **pires7** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:59 pm

Three football fans in a pub. One of them sees a twenty pound note in the fish tank. The landlord tells them that anyone who gets it out before the piranha eats their hand gets to keep it. The Gooner puts his hand in and the piranha bites off two of his fingers. The second whos a West Ham fan waits until the fish looks the other way and then puts his hand in, he pulls it out with his left hand missing. Chewsee fan puts his hand in and pulls out the twenty. The landlord ask how he managed it and Chewsee fan shows him his hand where tattooed across his knucles is" CHELSEA 2008 European Champions". The landlord says " I UNDERSTAND NOW,NOT EVEN A F*****G PIRANHA WILL SWALLOW THAT LOAD OF SHITe"

MG&Son · Post by **MG&Son** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:02 pm

pires7 wrote:Three football fans in a pub. One of them sees a twenty pound note in the fish tank. The landlord tells them that anyone who gets it out before the piranha eats their hand gets to keep it. The Gooner puts his hand in and the piranha bites off two of his fingers. The second whos a West Ham fan waits until the fish looks the other way and then puts his hand in, he pulls it out with his left hand missing. Chewsee fan puts his hand in and pulls out the twenty. The landlord ask how he managed it and Chewsee fan shows him his hand where tattooed across his knucles is" CHELSEA 2008 European Champions". The landlord says " I UNDERSTAND NOW,NOT EVEN A F*****G PIRANHA WILL SWALLOW THAT LOAD OF SHITe"

!!!

pires7 · Post by **pires7** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:10 pm

One day, a Gunners fan man was walking along the beach and came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared. "For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the Genie. The man was ecstatic. "But there's a catch," the Genie continued. "What catch?" asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously. The Genie replied, "For each of your wishes, every Spurs supporter in the world will receive double what you asked for." "Hey, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man. "What is your first wish?" asked the Genie. "Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!" Po-f ! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. "Now, every spurs fan in the world has been given two Ferraris," said the Genie. "What is your next wish?" "I could really use a million dollars..." replied the man, and Po-f! One million dollars appeared at his feet. "Now, every Spurs fan in the world is two million dollars richer," the Genie reminded the man. "Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the Gunners fan. "And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie. The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

MG&Son · Post by **MG&Son** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:12 pm

pires7 wrote:One day, a Gunners fan man was walking along the beach and came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared. "For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the Genie. The man was ecstatic. "But there's a catch," the Genie continued. "What catch?" asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously. The Genie replied, "For each of your wishes, every Spurs supporter in the world will receive double what you asked for." "Hey, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man. "What is your first wish?" asked the Genie. "Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!" Po-f ! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. "Now, every spurs fan in the world has been given two Ferraris," said the Genie. "What is your next wish?" "I could really use a million dollars..." replied the man, and Po-f! One million dollars appeared at his feet. "Now, every Spurs fan in the world is two million dollars richer," the Genie reminded the man. "Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the Gunners fan. "And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie. The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

haha good stuff pires, keep em coming ay!

pires7 · Post by **pires7** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:34 pm

An old man hands over 50 quid to the turnstyle operator at the riverside stadium
Man: Two please.
Turnstyle Operator: Sir, will that be Defenders or Strikers?

Apparantly, Newcastle football club is under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax evasion.
- they've been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 30 years.

I've heard that the JJB stadium has arguably the best pitch in the Premiership. Well...not entirely suprising considering all the sh*t that has been on there.

liverpool_08 · Post by **liverpool_08** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:51 pm

Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Manchester United Players on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What do you call 20 Manchester United Fans skydiving from an aeroplane?
A: Diahorrea

Q: What have Man Utd and a 3-pin plug got in common?
A: They're both bugger-all use in Europe.

liverpool_08 · Post by **liverpool_08** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:52 pm

Q: Why is David Beckham like a Ferrero Roche?
A: They both come in a posh box

Q: How can you tell ET is a Chelsea fan?
A: Because he looks like one

delfino_1936 · Post by **delfino_1936** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:56 pm

brilliant Pires7, fantastic had a great giggle

Megged · Post by **Megged** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:57 pm

Q: What do you call a Liverpool fan in a suit?
A: The accused

Q: What's the difference between a Liverpool fan and a broken clock?
A: Even a broken clock is right twice a day!

Q: Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
A: Because if it walked it would be mugged.

Q. What's the difference between a Liverpool fan and a coconut (part one)?

A. You can get a drink out of a coconut!

Q. What's the difference between a Liverpool fan and a coconut (part two)?
A. One's thick and hairy, and the other's a tropical fruit.

Juventino · Post by **Juventino** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 12:23 am

7 year old boy stands up to court judge

Huntington, WV (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Cabell County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediaty family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Tottenham Hotspur Football Team whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

MG&Son · Post by **MG&Son** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 12:24 am

Juventino wrote:7 year old boy stands up to court judge

Huntington, WV (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Cabell County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediaty family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Tottenham Hotspur Football Team whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

haha lmao!!

delfino_1936 · Post by **delfino_1936** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:08 am

Mighty Ger! wrote:
Juventino wrote:7 year old boy stands up to court judge

Huntington, WV (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Cabell County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediaty family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Tottenham Hotspur Football Team whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

haha lmao!!

LOVE IT!!!!!

Missing Post Count · Post by **Missing Post Count** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:29 am

pires7 wrote:Three football fans in a pub. One of them sees a twenty pound note in the fish tank. The landlord tells them that anyone who gets it out before the piranha eats their hand gets to keep it. The Gooner puts his hand in and the piranha bites off two of his fingers. The second whos a West Ham fan waits until the fish looks the other way and then puts his hand in, he pulls it out with his left hand missing. Chewsee fan puts his hand in and pulls out the twenty. The landlord ask how he managed it and Chewsee fan shows him his hand where tattooed across his knucles is" CHELSEA 2008 European Champions". The landlord says " I UNDERSTAND NOW,NOT EVEN A F*****G PIRANHA WILL SWALLOW THAT LOAD OF SHITe"

Missing Post Count · Post by **Missing Post Count** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:31 am

pires7 wrote:One day, a Gunners fan man was walking along the beach and came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared. "For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the Genie. The man was ecstatic. "But there's a catch," the Genie continued. "What catch?" asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously. The Genie replied, "For each of your wishes, every Spurs supporter in the world will receive double what you asked for." "Hey, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man. "What is your first wish?" asked the Genie. "Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!" Po-f ! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. "Now, every spurs fan in the world has been given two Ferraris," said the Genie. "What is your next wish?" "I could really use a million dollars..." replied the man, and Po-f! One million dollars appeared at his feet. "Now, every Spurs fan in the world is two million dollars richer," the Genie reminded the man. "Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the Gunners fan. "And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie. The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

You've got some good ones... keep 'em coming

pires7 · Post by **pires7** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:15 pm

David Beckham walks into a sperm donor bank.

"I'd like to donate some sperm," he says to the receptionist.

"Certainly, Sir," she replies. "Have you donated before?"

"Yes," replies Beckham, "you should have my details on your computer."

"Oh, Yes, I've found your details," says the receptionist, "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call Posh Spice for you?"

"Why do I need help to donate sperm?" asks Beckham.

"Well," the receptionist replies, "it says on your record that you're a useless wanker."

Juventino · Post by **Juventino** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 5:43 pm

Q: What's the difference between foot-in-mouth and the England national football team?

A: Foot-in-mouth at least made it to Europe!

delfino_1936 · Post by **delfino_1936** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:28 pm

Juventino wrote:Q: What's the difference between foot-in-mouth and the England national football team?

A: Foot-in-mouth at least made it to Europe!

barbarez01 · Post by **barbarez01** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 12:29 am

you guys wont be laughing if they make it

ronaldo07 · Post by **ronaldo07** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 12:46 am

barbarez01 wrote:you guys wont be laughing if they make it

Jono82 · Post by **Jono82** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 6:55 am

Q: You're trapped on an island with a Man United fan, a lion and a tiger. You have a gun and 2 bullets... what do you do?

A. Shoot the Man United fan... Twice!

delfino_1936 · Post by **delfino_1936** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 7:54 pm

Jono82 wrote:Q: You're trapped on an island with a Man United fan, a lion and a tiger. You have a gun and 2 bullets... what do you do?

A. Shoot the Man United fan... Twice!

LOVE IT

Jono82 · Post by **Jono82** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 8:19 pm

Q: A Man United supporter (from Manchester), the Tooth fairy, Santa Claus and a blind man are walking down the road when one of them spots a Â£20 note... who gets it?

A: The blind man... the other 3 are fictional characters

Q: What's the difference between Pamela Anderson and Paul Robinson?

A: Pamela Anderson only has 2 tits in front of her!

Missing Post Count · Post by **Missing Post Count** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 8:25 pm

Jono82 wrote:Q: What's the difference between Pamela Anderson and Paul Robinson?

A: Pamela Anderson only has 2 tits in front of her!

And his are real