Dan offered to sell Dave three spare female pigs to get him started at a good price. It cost Dave his savings but he took Dan up on his offer.
All you need now, said Dan, is a male pig and you’re off.
Dave spent the next two weeks looking for a male pig to no avail. There was none available anywhere and frustration was setting in.
He phoned up Dan and explained his predicament. Ah, said Dan. Yeah there’s a bit of a shortage of male breeders at the moment. I’ve an idea though if you’re desperate. The female pigs reproductive organs are the closest thing to a human being you will find. If you fancy it you could hump the pigs yourself and Bob’s your uncle. By the next morning if they’re lying on their backs with their legs in the air you know it’s worked.
Dave didn’t like the sound of that but he was desperate. That night, he loaded the pigs into his car and drove to a quiet spot in the bush where he made sweet love to each pig then headed home.
The next morning Dave got out of bed and ran down to the pigs sty to check if they were lying on there backs with their legs in the air……….they were not!
Dave was raging and phoned Dan right away thinking he had been tricked and gave him both barrels.
I can’t understand it said Dan. It should have worked. How many times did you do it with them.
Once each said Dave.
Ah, said Dan. No. The pig has a much longer fallopian tube than a human. You need to do it to them a good two or three times for the sperm to reach the egg.
Needless to say Dave wasn’t too happy, but, needs must. He loaded up the car that night, drove out to the now sacred spot and gave it to each pig three times. Dave was shattered.
So shattered that he slept in the next morning and was awoken by his wife in distress saying, Come quick! Your pigs are acting funny!
Yes! shouted Dave. Are they lying on there backs with their legs in the air.
No, said his wife. They’re sitting in your car peeping the horn!
